Ok, so I finally nuked my drives and installed Windows 7.
Bad- Random reboots are still happening.
- To add more frustration to the reboot issue, Windows 7 has this wonderful "Windows System Repair" feature that pops up when you crash and reload. The default is to attempt a repair (with another option to start Windows normally). The 'repair' option gives you the option to cancel but gives you the message "You cannot cancel this operation". Seems pretty f'd up
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